Sunday, July 12, 2009

More needles please sir, and a side of laughter.

This winter has become a real dog, a rabid dog, in fact, which has latched onto me and has given me a right proper chewing in the neck regions. This has left me suffering in both mind and body. Regular readers - the hardy few - will have noticed that there has been a long period of inactivity on this blog. I put it down to the metaphorical lock-jaw this cold and dark winter has gifted me and the creative centres of my brain. I've had a good few weeks of uber colds and generally feeling like a rather neglected and overused dish rag. Fortunately the recent sunny days have been a balm to this affliction and I've been dragging myself out on my road bike for sunny lunchtime rides. Mmmmmm vitamin D, so wonderful and nourishing.

None of these rides would have been nearly as enjoyable as they were without the wonderful skills of my divine osteopath. My gammy elbow is not well suited for the roadie, especially in the cold, and this has been keeping me off the bike till earlier this week. In the meantime my lovely osteo has been filling my arm and scar tissue with needles and they have really been doing the trick. While I don't quite look like this when "needled up":

I do enjoy the sensation of my acupuncture points activated. When I finally got back on my roadie after what seems like a couple of months of avoidance, to my great happiness and surprise I discovered that my arm is greatly improved and was almost as straight as my unbung arm. Fantastic! The best improvement is that after an hour of riding it only just started to hurt, instead of after 10 minutes. I've since been on 3 more hour long rides and while it’s definitely sorer than that first ride the improvement is significant.

Of course my osteo doesn't only provide me with sharp slivers of metal inserted into various points of my body, sometimes with added electricity, he also sorts out my muscular stresses and most importantly entertains me with an endless supply of hilarious anecdotes. I am not at liberty to share these gems with you, but I can say that upon discussing my recent uber cold and its accompanying hideous sneezes, I was gifted with a brilliant story involving a couple of broken ribs, a policeman's elbow, an effort at politeness and an epic and admirable moment of unco-ordination. My poor sore ribs were tested by the gales of laughter this story retched from me, but it was worth it for the vast improvement in mood that a long bout of laughter brought about.
Dangerous police elbows highlighted for safety, but also beware of the swaying hips!

Just to let you know that the urban myth that sneezing 8 times in row produces a sensation that is the same as an orgasm is a bloody lie. I was great afflicted with the sneezes for 2 days with my uber cold and the only sensation it produced in me was pain. Pain firstly from the intensely explosive sneezes throwing me to the floor and simultaneously ripping my throat out, and then later on by their insistent nature causing my ribs to feel like I'd crashed into a number of trees at high speed while downhilling. Stupid sneezes. At one point I was wondering if I'd managed to contract some strange hybrid of whooping cough and hay fever that left me with the dreaded whooping sneezes. I, and my ribs, have recovered and while I missed the last three night races due to my affliction and recovery period, I feel I am ready for hours of roadie training in preparation for the Molesworth and Moa Hunt and various other races I want to do towards the end of the year. Right now it’s just good to be in the sun, it feels like I've been in the dark way too long.

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