Longest day - awesome

Well I didn't get better, but I did ride my bike all day and it was brilliant. I'm shattered now and since a picture is worth a thousand words here's a link to all my pictures from the ride.

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150540252517238.434735.744277237&type=1&l=3077c0f8fa

Thanks so much to everyone who donated, we raised almost $3500 for Arthritis NZ and that's fantastic. Have a merry chrimble.

I'm Aspiring

Once upon a time, about 2 years ago, a young woman started a blog. This blog was about her quest to get fit and lose weight and it was this blog. Over the course of two and a bit years her fitness has improved and improved and her weight has gone down a bit and then up a bit. In fact when I weighed myself last Monday I weighed more than when I started this journey. Bugger. So over the next three months while I’m not full on training for anything I’m taking this dieting thing seriously. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the past couple of years it’s that even though I eat extremely healthily and exercise a lot that’s not enough for me to lose weight. I’m obviously doing something wrong so I’ve paid my money and joined up with the Plant & Food/ Uni of Otago created diet called Aspire.
Already I’m learning a lot and have discovered that I eat waaaaay too much. I’ve been on it for a week and luckily it’s been pretty easy for me. This first week came with a sample menu, which was just what I needed, something to tell me what to eat. I stuck to it really well, and made some substitutions where things weren’t working and made sure I stayed within my allotted portions for the week. The biggest change, apart from portion size, has been eating legumes every day. Yum! As the last post pointed out, I’ve been laid low by the dreaded lurgee and haven’t really been able to move off the couch much, let alone exercise so there’s not been much going into my activity diary. So imagine my surprise when I got on the scales this morning for my weekly weigh in and discovered I’ve lost 2.5kgs in the last week! Yusss! My power to weight ratio is going to be looking better by the end of winter.

I also managed to get out on the roadie today to return some DVDs. It was raining. It was windy. There was loads of traffic. I still loved it! It’s been two whole weeks since I’ve been on the bike and it felt great to be riding again. It made me rather light headed, which probably means I’m still fighting germs, but I still ended up singing “The legs on the Mel go round and round, round and round, round and round” because I was feeling so happy. Unfortunately I did manage to get quite cold and created some yucky chilblains on my legs when I jumped in my hot shower. So Week 2 on Aspire has started and we’ll see how I handle riding and dieting. Wish me luck!

Who dun it?

One of the benefits of being a reclusive writer is the lack of contact with people infected with hideous illnesses who refuse to stay at home and get well, but instead choose to infect those around them. Unfortunately this is mitigated by being an avid mountainbiker and helper outer at races. I know that racing my lungs out at the Singletrack Fiesta seriously compromised my immune system, paving the way for this lovely chest infection I now have. But what I want to know is, who gave me these horrible germs?

I have a number of suspects. Top of my list are the two nefarious banditoes from the Singlespeed race. Either one of them could have been out for revenge after I forced them to eat extra delicious nachos (and thereby comply with the rules). My second guess would be one of the many germ infested children running around. Everyone knows that children are made of germs and are disgusting.

Perhaps it was this dodgy looking specimen. He obviously has some sort of horrible disease, that’s why he’s wearing a Hazmat suit.

My final suspect is Death. Although I didn’t actually come into physical contact with Death, being in his presence may have been enough to see me afflicted with this terrible illness.

Needless to say I’ve spent the last week with fevers, aches, globs of green being expelled from my lungs and a throat that someone has been putting razorblades into every night. This has meant no riding, and actually very little walking or anything involving being off the couch for long. I’ve missed the first night race of the season and will also be missing the second one tomorrow night. I’ll also be missing the MTB Orienteering that’s going on at McLean’s Island on Sunday. Stink. Still I’ve had plenty of time to plan my winter training so it wasn’t a total loss. Also all the resting has really helped my chest/shoulders and elbow heal and I’m feeling way better about those owies. I’m dying to get on my bike and hope for a couple of gentle roadie rides at the weekend. If not I will have to use my voodoo powers to discover the evil perpetrator of my illness and cast a pox upon them. Or not, I just don’t have the energy at the moment.

More needles please sir, and a side of laughter.

This winter has become a real dog, a rabid dog, in fact, which has latched onto me and has given me a right proper chewing in the neck regions. This has left me suffering in both mind and body. Regular readers - the hardy few - will have noticed that there has been a long period of inactivity on this blog. I put it down to the metaphorical lock-jaw this cold and dark winter has gifted me and the creative centres of my brain. I've had a good few weeks of uber colds and generally feeling like a rather neglected and overused dish rag. Fortunately the recent sunny days have been a balm to this affliction and I've been dragging myself out on my road bike for sunny lunchtime rides. Mmmmmm vitamin D, so wonderful and nourishing.

None of these rides would have been nearly as enjoyable as they were without the wonderful skills of my divine osteopath. My gammy elbow is not well suited for the roadie, especially in the cold, and this has been keeping me off the bike till earlier this week. In the meantime my lovely osteo has been filling my arm and scar tissue with needles and they have really been doing the trick. While I don't quite look like this when "needled up":

I do enjoy the sensation of my acupuncture points activated. When I finally got back on my roadie after what seems like a couple of months of avoidance, to my great happiness and surprise I discovered that my arm is greatly improved and was almost as straight as my unbung arm. Fantastic! The best improvement is that after an hour of riding it only just started to hurt, instead of after 10 minutes. I've since been on 3 more hour long rides and while it’s definitely sorer than that first ride the improvement is significant.

Of course my osteo doesn't only provide me with sharp slivers of metal inserted into various points of my body, sometimes with added electricity, he also sorts out my muscular stresses and most importantly entertains me with an endless supply of hilarious anecdotes. I am not at liberty to share these gems with you, but I can say that upon discussing my recent uber cold and its accompanying hideous sneezes, I was gifted with a brilliant story involving a couple of broken ribs, a policeman's elbow, an effort at politeness and an epic and admirable moment of unco-ordination. My poor sore ribs were tested by the gales of laughter this story retched from me, but it was worth it for the vast improvement in mood that a long bout of laughter brought about.

Dangerous police elbows highlighted for safety, but also beware of the swaying hips!

Just to let you know that the urban myth that sneezing 8 times in row produces a sensation that is the same as an orgasm is a bloody lie. I was great afflicted with the sneezes for 2 days with my uber cold and the only sensation it produced in me was pain. Pain firstly from the intensely explosive sneezes throwing me to the floor and simultaneously ripping my throat out, and then later on by their insistent nature causing my ribs to feel like I'd crashed into a number of trees at high speed while downhilling. Stupid sneezes. At one point I was wondering if I'd managed to contract some strange hybrid of whooping cough and hay fever that left me with the dreaded whooping sneezes. I, and my ribs, have recovered and while I missed the last three night races due to my affliction and recovery period, I feel I am ready for hours of roadie training in preparation for the Molesworth and Moa Hunt and various other races I want to do towards the end of the year. Right now it’s just good to be in the sun, it feels like I've been in the dark way too long.

Cold Morning Commute – How to dress right with the help of AA Milne

Or Ground Effect should definitely sponsor me!

The season is definitely upon us now, here is Christchurch anyway, where the commute into work in the morning is just that little bit harder to get excited about. The weather is still mainly clear and sunny, but the weather gods have a penalty for these mornings, one with a bite. Take yesterday morning for example. The sun was just up and casting a beautiful soft orange/pink light across the city, the paddocks I bike past had an ethereal layer of mist rising just over a foot off the ground and the trees were dropping their rust and golden and crimson leaves in the still morning air. It was gorgeous. And bitterly cold, for the other feature of the scene was a very light frost on the ground.

The price to be paid for these beautiful clear mornings is frostbite on your extremities. Often when I wake up on these cold mornings, and spend an extra 10 minutes hiding under the covers to avoid the cold, I’m reminded of an AA Milne poem I used to listen to when I was a child. We had a tape (audio) of his poetry with a fantastic English narrator who really bought each verse to life. The one I’m thinking of started with this line from the narrator:

"Oh, those frosty mornings when it nips at your ears and your nose, that’s when I wish I could be a furry bear."

I couldn’t put it any better myself. Then the poem by AA Milne. I highly recommend you read this in as deeper voice as you can, especially the last two words, to achieve the full beary warming effect.

If I were a bear and a big bear too
I shouldn’t much care if it froze or snoo
I shouldn’t much mind if it snowed or frize
I’d be all fur lined in a coat like his

For I’d have fur boots and a big brown wrap
And brown fur knickers and a big fur cap
I’d have a fur muff-a-ruff to cover my jaws
And brown fur mittens on my big brown paws

With a big brown furry-down up to my head
I’d sleep all the winter
I’d sleep all the winter
In a big
Fur
Bed

What you may not realise on first reading of this poem is that AA Milne is cunningly informing you of the appropriate attire for cycling on frosty mornings, using colloquialisms of his time. The second verse is full of handy tips. Let’s take my frosty morning commuting attire as an example and you will see that Mr Milne was obviously an avid cyclist.

I’d have fur boots. I have neoprene booties. They stop my toes feeling like they have frozen into a lump of stinging white pain and that all blood has ceased to visit them. If you commute in frosty weather with even the slightest of breeze, particularly in cycling shoes, you’ll know what I mean.

A big brown wrap. Ok, so this is a bit of a stretch, but I find that wrapping myself in merino undergarments adds significant pleasure to those chilly morning rides. If you haven’t experienced the joys of merino, where have you been? Get out and get some, it is truly The Business.

Brown fur knickers. That’s easy, my Witches Britches are furry and knickers and keep my knees nice and toasty. I’m sure the winter commuters amongst you are familiar with the bright red knees syndrome whereby your knees and lower thighs take the blast of the icy air rushing past you as you speed to work and are frozen in the process. Personally I find the worst thing about the snap frozen knees is walking into my warm office and experiencing that very uncomfortable burning sensation as the livid red skin is hit by air that has a significant temperature differential to its surface. This peril is completely removed with my fuzzy Witches Britches.

A big fur cap. For me this is a bit more of a puzzler. I’ve experimented with various head and ear warming devices. My first choice was a hand knitted beanie from my Nana. It was not the best choice. It did fit under my helmet, but it made my forehead very very itchy. My next trial was what I like to refer to as my gimp hoodie. This is a Hot Toddy which is a long sleeve riding top with a hood designed for going under the helmet. When biking this has some big advantages. It keeps your head, ears and even neck warm on cold mornings. The disadvantage I found was it works too well for those "a bit" cold mornings. I discovered the optimum temperature for me to use the hood is anything below -5°C, that’s pretty chilly. I think it comes from having long thick hair. I had a similar problem with my Baked Beany (hmmm, this post seems to be turning into an ad for Ground Effect – hey guys, wanna sponsor an average cross country rider?). Fantastic for really cold mornings and also for after rides on cold nights, but I tend to over heat when it’s only averagely cold. The other thing about the gimp hood I forgot to mention is that that hood cannot really be worn in public without a helmet over it due to its cunning form fitting nature. I still like to wear it around the house and while visiting friends for comedic value and scaring small children, but it’s a bit too much of a fashion statement for everyday wear. So finally I can upon the perfect solution. My own hair. It is very thick and long and with the application of a head band (yes it is also Ground Effects one, I have 6) to cover my ears it insulates me perfectly for most cold mornings.

Now my favourite line – I’d have a big fur muff-a-ruff to cover my jaws. Last winter my lungs got soft, or maybe just weren’t happy with the night-racing-cold-air-torment I subjected them to. It got to the point where breathing the cold morning air was too painful for any sort of speed on my commute and I wouldn’t dare try to tackling even the smallest of rollers for fear of coughing up a lung. Then I discovered the Ice Breaker Chute and all my problems were solved. I’ve tried riding with a scarf and that always used to move round and fall down or cause my glasses to completely fog up (before I got the laser eyes). Plus all my scarves were itchy. The Chute can be pulled right up to eye level, protecting you poor exposed nose and cheek bones from icy wind. I found that my glasses didn’t even fog when it was worn like this. And breathing was sooooo much better as the air is warmed slightly as it passed through the double layer of merino goodness. The best thing is once you reach optimum temperature, which for me is about halfway to work, you can just pull it down and you’re no longer too warm. Perfect. Best muff-a-ruff I’ve ever had.

The only part of the story I have to dispute good old AA on is the brown fur mittens. Mittens are not good for cycling, gloves, with their individually differentiated fingers are the best option. Given my penchant for over heating halfway through my commute, I like a bit of versatility. To achieve this I start off with my normal fingerless roadie gloves with a pair of thermal gloves, the kind you get for about $10, pulled over the top. Then when my hands have achieved full finger circulation I whip them off and stuff them in the side pockets of my bag (it’s a Ground Effect one, shock horror).

As you can now plainly see AA Milne was obviously an onto it cyclist and with the except of the slight faux pas regarding the mittens, knew how to dress appropriately for winter conditions. Of course on the weekends, when I don’t have to ride in the icy weather, I take his best bit of advice and stay in bed under layers of warm blankets (one of which is even furry).

Return of the Living Dead

Gah!!!! My smugness at my lack of winter illnesses has finally caught up with me and I’ve been well and truly kicked in the bum with the nasty virus that’s been doing the rounds. I’m feeling really frustrated by just how sick I’ve been because I really want to be out on my bike and building up to some decent long rides this month.

The week before last was a good riding week, although I think the signs of my impending illness might have been there now that I look back on it. I did some really nice long-way-to-work rides and even got to the gym three times (I love my new weights programme, but I might have said that already). On Wednesday Pete and I headed out to McLeans for another blast and it was bloody awful. Wednesday was very very cold in the evening, I think it must have been close to 0 and I just couldn’t warm up. I felt flat and cold and exhausted for the whole lap, not good, and maybe I should have listened to my body and taken it easy from then. I felt fine on Thursday and Friday, and felt fantastic on Saturday so we headed to the sandpit for a blast. I love Bottlelake on my singlespeed. I managed to get round the whole inner loop much faster than last time and although knackered at the end I felt that my fitness had really improved. Sunday was a different kettle of fish altogether.

I woke up in the morning and it felt like someone had been pumping phlegm into my lungs overnight. They felt awful. I didn’t feel sick or anything though so I just went and had a bit of a cough to get rid of some of the phlegm. I suspect that might have been my biggest mistake. My throat really hurt after this, but I was still planning on heading out on the roadie for a couple of hours later in the morning. I lazed around in bed for a while and my throat got progressively sorer. Eventually I managed to haul myself into my riding gear and make some breakfast, but I started to feel pretty rough and decided that a couple of hours on the bike in the rain might not be the best thing for me. Probably the best decision I’ve made in a while. Pete was out at his mum’s and by the time he got home I’d pretty much lost my voice and it was completely gone by 3 in the afternoon. And it all went down hill from there. I woke up on Monday still with no voice, but now also weak as a baby, with a headache, hacking cough, and wheezy chest. I couldn’t get a doctor’s appointment because apparently everyone was sick (I spoke to a nurse and she said they’d done 20 strep tests that morning and it was only 10am). I spent the day in bed on Monday, barely able to get the kitchen to heat soup up. I went to the docs on Tuesday morning and my throat had stopped hurting so badly, but I had a fever now and my cough was worse. The bloody thing had started to move to my head also. Vaguely reassured that I didn’t have the flu or strep I went home and collapsed back into bed, again pretty much unable to move. Wednesday I was able to make it to the couch, but unable to do much else. Thursday I was starting to feel better and seemed to be able to walk to the kitchen and back without feeling faint. On Friday I woke up feeling further improved so decided that I’d better go to work as there’s so much to do. I pretty much realised this was a mistake about half way to work when I was feeling light headed just driving. By the time I got into my office my fever had cranked up again and I was feeling pretty bad. I managed to get through all my emails and voicemails by 11 and went back home to lie on the couch for the rest of the day. Saturday was similar. Yesterday I managed to walk around town for an hour without my fever going up, but still felt quite wasted by the time I got home. Today I’m feeling better, still really tired and run down, but not so congested and sick feeling. Plus I seem to be surviving being at work, so that’s a good sign.

Luckily for me it’s blood orange season. I love blood oranges, they taste so much better than normal oranges and have lots of good anti-oxidants and vitamin C and stuff. Being sick meant I could justify the expense of getting these instead of their cheaper, more boring kin. So I’ve been ploughing my way through 3 or 4 of these a day. Yum. Unluckily for me the weather over the weekend and today has been fantastic and I’m feeling very grumpy on all the missed riding opportunities. I’m going to ride to work tomorrow so that will be interesting. Hopefully by the weekend I’ll be ready to hit the forest again. I’ve found a race in Cheviot on the 21st of September that looks really fun so I need to get some riding in before that!