Mid winter creativity

Hello my lovely readers! I am in a very cheerful moodas I have just finished creating my magnum opus, a short film about Ground Effect's wonderful clothes and just how many items from their catelogue I have. What inspired this burst of film making? Well one of the lovely Ground Effect employees got in touch with me and asked if they could us my stop motion of the jacket and pants packing themselves on their soon to be released youtube site. They also liked this very blog so in the future you may find some of my previous posts gracing the Ground Effect stalkbook page. If you haven't visit that page, go here and 'Like' them. I could waffle on further about the riding I've been doing and how Aspire is still going well, although I am a bit bored of it right now and would like some chocolate, but instead I'll just put my video up. Thanks Ground Effect for making Oarsum clothing that gets me out in all weather.

Hmmmm, it’s wet and cold outside, what should I do?

The obvious answer is of course, ride your bike! I managed to do this on both Saturday and Sunday, despite nasty sou-westerly winds whipping off Antarctica, constant drizzle or rain and generally freezing temperatures. You see the thing about riding in winter is that if you let the miserable conditions get the best of you there will be little or no bicycle riding fun. The key to winter riding is preparedness, and I’m not just talking about the correct attire (although this is probably the most important aspect). I’ve already regaled you with my cold weather commuting attire for frosty mornings (thanks Ground Effect). My “disgusting, wet, windy, cold” riding gear isn’t too different. I’ll start from the bottom up and keep it brief, thick knee high merino socks, under leg warms under either lycra shorts with my downhill (water resistant) shorts or my GE baggies. Both these options give you 3 layers of coverage on the thighs which is most welcome in the wet and cold. Bottom half sorted, top half can be a bit trickier depending on the riding you are doing. Saturday we headed to Bottlelake – land of uber puddles, for a high intensity singlespeed blast. I knew I’d be working hard and sheltered by the trees most of the time so I went for a long sleeved merino only under my She Shell with pit zips fully opened (and the water resistant downhill short combo). This worked perfectly.

It was fairly wet, some showers interspersed with lovely Scottish mist (drizzle for those not of Celtic heritage) and the puddles were wide and in some cases much deeper than expected (crikey, my hubs seem to be under water!). We took off through the trees and headed towards the beach and on the way there I achieved a goal I’d set myself last weekend. I got all the way up the tip hill on my singlespeed. Yes. My first attempt a month ago saw me get a feeble third of the way up and last weekend I struggled three quarters of the way up. I was determined to conquer it on Saturday and managed to with much explosions of lungs and hauling on handle bars. It certainly wasn’t pretty, but I was happy once all the shiny stars went away. The rest of the ride was a hammerfest and by the end we were back in the carpark buggered and wet. My feet and lower legs were soaked most of the ride, but my feet didn’t get cold at all.

This is the point in the ride where the extra preparations are important. Always take dry socks and shoes, or in my case woolly slippers, when you know you’ll be driving home with wet feet. Also a layer of dry wool will be greatly appreciated and your upholstery will thank you for the provision of a towel. I myself carry a very lovely Singapore Airlines purple and blue tartan knee rug which is great for wrapping around cold legs and keeping mud off the seats.
On Saturday I was very happy to discover that once I removed my lovely Loeka shorts (as seen in this fabulous safety announcement) my bike shorts beneath were still dry. Another good idea is to start your car and crank the heater right up as soon as you arrive so that once you’ve loaded your bike, divested yourself of the wet, muddy clothes and applied dry warm clothes you can leap into a toasty vehicle and turn the demister on. Finally I discovered that leaving one’s spouse at home by the fire has the great benefit of being able to walk into a toasty warm house upon you’re arrival. These are the things that make winter riding bearable.

Sunday was a slightly different kettle of fish. I actually wasn’t at all keen for a ride, the weather was worse and I was snuggled up on the couch when I received an “encouraging” text for a ride up Kennedy’s. Brrrrrrr. Oh well, I’ve always been a sucker for a bit of peer pressure. This ride would require more attention to detail for the top half of my body. The usual winter attire for the bottom half would be fine. The Kennedy’s ride would be exposed to the wind, however much of it would be climbing so it is more difficult to work out the optimal layering. I went for sleeveless but hi-necked merino under my GE long sleeved Starfish and topped off by the fantastic She-Shell. I also threw a long sleeved merino in my backpack just in case. The climb up the road was fantastic (who would have thought) and I was the perfect temperature by the time I got to the base of the 4wd track. This would have set me up well for the climb in the wind except I had to wait for the other mad buggers I was riding with and got ever so slightly chilled in the 15 minutes between my arrival and theirs. Up on the hill things got worse for me pretty quickly. The wind was howling into our faces as we climbed the wet paddock and my legs were complaining that I’d already hammered them the day before. Up the 4wd track and the little stream that had babbled to me on Thursday was bigger and more talkative and line selection was the key to keeping traction. We crested the rise and dropped down a bit into the lee of the windbreak and could actually talk. It was nasty, but there were other mad people out on the hill. We continued down and at the bottom met a lake at the stile and the wind returned. I was feeling pretty cold now and my legs were pretty much toast, but pig-headedness drove me on and up the next climb. It was bad. I was right in that black place you go when all you can do is turn your legs and keep your weight in the right place to keep going up. The wind was sucking the energy right out of me and my breath was coming in huge wheezing gasps. Not a pretty sight. Finally we made it to where it levelled off and I knew I was completely toasted. I really couldn’t go up into that wind anymore so I was extremely grateful when scatter gave me a get out of jail free card and I could bail. It felt sucky leaving everyone else on the hill to go up, but they are all significantly fitter than I am and I’d pushed all I could.

It was then I made my big mistake for the day. If I hadn’t been so tired and focussed on getting down the hill I would have taken the time to quickly add my extra layer of wool under my jacket and zip up my pit-zips. But I didn’t and I froze on the descent in the howling wind. Having said that it was still pretty fun sliding down the hill in the mud. I was soon coated from head to foot in mud and at times had some difficulty seeing. I struggled lifting my bike over the fence in the wind and then remembered to zip up those pit zips. That helped a bit and I got a bit of warmth back climbing back up the 4wd, but then down the other side it was exposed and cold and I went down pretty slow as I just couldn’t keep the mud out of my eyes. The fast trip down the road left me struggling to get my legs moving at the bottom, but did clean most of the mud off my face as sheets of water sprayed into my eyes. Yuck. I got home in a bit of a state, but managed to take the time to clean my mud coated bike and apply lashings of lube to my freshly cleaned chain. All the while my lovely husband ran me a bath and then helped me remove my mud crusted layers as my hands and brain weren’t really talking to each other. After a soak I returned to semi-human but was completely wasted energy wise.

So the lessons I learnt from the ride were:
i Don’t arrive first and have to wait in the cold
ii If you’re body is telling you something, listen to it
iii Always add another layer before descending in the cold

Both were great rides and I’m really glad I got out and did them. Hopefully both will pay dividends on Wednesday for the night race.

Cold Morning Commute – How to dress right with the help of AA Milne

Or Ground Effect should definitely sponsor me!

The season is definitely upon us now, here is Christchurch anyway, where the commute into work in the morning is just that little bit harder to get excited about. The weather is still mainly clear and sunny, but the weather gods have a penalty for these mornings, one with a bite. Take yesterday morning for example. The sun was just up and casting a beautiful soft orange/pink light across the city, the paddocks I bike past had an ethereal layer of mist rising just over a foot off the ground and the trees were dropping their rust and golden and crimson leaves in the still morning air. It was gorgeous. And bitterly cold, for the other feature of the scene was a very light frost on the ground.

The price to be paid for these beautiful clear mornings is frostbite on your extremities. Often when I wake up on these cold mornings, and spend an extra 10 minutes hiding under the covers to avoid the cold, I’m reminded of an AA Milne poem I used to listen to when I was a child. We had a tape (audio) of his poetry with a fantastic English narrator who really bought each verse to life. The one I’m thinking of started with this line from the narrator:

"Oh, those frosty mornings when it nips at your ears and your nose, that’s when I wish I could be a furry bear."

I couldn’t put it any better myself. Then the poem by AA Milne. I highly recommend you read this in as deeper voice as you can, especially the last two words, to achieve the full beary warming effect.

If I were a bear and a big bear too
I shouldn’t much care if it froze or snoo
I shouldn’t much mind if it snowed or frize
I’d be all fur lined in a coat like his

For I’d have fur boots and a big brown wrap
And brown fur knickers and a big fur cap
I’d have a fur muff-a-ruff to cover my jaws
And brown fur mittens on my big brown paws

With a big brown furry-down up to my head
I’d sleep all the winter
I’d sleep all the winter
In a big
Fur
Bed

What you may not realise on first reading of this poem is that AA Milne is cunningly informing you of the appropriate attire for cycling on frosty mornings, using colloquialisms of his time. The second verse is full of handy tips. Let’s take my frosty morning commuting attire as an example and you will see that Mr Milne was obviously an avid cyclist.

I’d have fur boots. I have neoprene booties. They stop my toes feeling like they have frozen into a lump of stinging white pain and that all blood has ceased to visit them. If you commute in frosty weather with even the slightest of breeze, particularly in cycling shoes, you’ll know what I mean.

A big brown wrap. Ok, so this is a bit of a stretch, but I find that wrapping myself in merino undergarments adds significant pleasure to those chilly morning rides. If you haven’t experienced the joys of merino, where have you been? Get out and get some, it is truly The Business.

Brown fur knickers. That’s easy, my Witches Britches are furry and knickers and keep my knees nice and toasty. I’m sure the winter commuters amongst you are familiar with the bright red knees syndrome whereby your knees and lower thighs take the blast of the icy air rushing past you as you speed to work and are frozen in the process. Personally I find the worst thing about the snap frozen knees is walking into my warm office and experiencing that very uncomfortable burning sensation as the livid red skin is hit by air that has a significant temperature differential to its surface. This peril is completely removed with my fuzzy Witches Britches.

A big fur cap. For me this is a bit more of a puzzler. I’ve experimented with various head and ear warming devices. My first choice was a hand knitted beanie from my Nana. It was not the best choice. It did fit under my helmet, but it made my forehead very very itchy. My next trial was what I like to refer to as my gimp hoodie. This is a Hot Toddy which is a long sleeve riding top with a hood designed for going under the helmet. When biking this has some big advantages. It keeps your head, ears and even neck warm on cold mornings. The disadvantage I found was it works too well for those "a bit" cold mornings. I discovered the optimum temperature for me to use the hood is anything below -5°C, that’s pretty chilly. I think it comes from having long thick hair. I had a similar problem with my Baked Beany (hmmm, this post seems to be turning into an ad for Ground Effect – hey guys, wanna sponsor an average cross country rider?). Fantastic for really cold mornings and also for after rides on cold nights, but I tend to over heat when it’s only averagely cold. The other thing about the gimp hood I forgot to mention is that that hood cannot really be worn in public without a helmet over it due to its cunning form fitting nature. I still like to wear it around the house and while visiting friends for comedic value and scaring small children, but it’s a bit too much of a fashion statement for everyday wear. So finally I can upon the perfect solution. My own hair. It is very thick and long and with the application of a head band (yes it is also Ground Effects one, I have 6) to cover my ears it insulates me perfectly for most cold mornings.

Now my favourite line – I’d have a big fur muff-a-ruff to cover my jaws. Last winter my lungs got soft, or maybe just weren’t happy with the night-racing-cold-air-torment I subjected them to. It got to the point where breathing the cold morning air was too painful for any sort of speed on my commute and I wouldn’t dare try to tackling even the smallest of rollers for fear of coughing up a lung. Then I discovered the Ice Breaker Chute and all my problems were solved. I’ve tried riding with a scarf and that always used to move round and fall down or cause my glasses to completely fog up (before I got the laser eyes). Plus all my scarves were itchy. The Chute can be pulled right up to eye level, protecting you poor exposed nose and cheek bones from icy wind. I found that my glasses didn’t even fog when it was worn like this. And breathing was sooooo much better as the air is warmed slightly as it passed through the double layer of merino goodness. The best thing is once you reach optimum temperature, which for me is about halfway to work, you can just pull it down and you’re no longer too warm. Perfect. Best muff-a-ruff I’ve ever had.

The only part of the story I have to dispute good old AA on is the brown fur mittens. Mittens are not good for cycling, gloves, with their individually differentiated fingers are the best option. Given my penchant for over heating halfway through my commute, I like a bit of versatility. To achieve this I start off with my normal fingerless roadie gloves with a pair of thermal gloves, the kind you get for about $10, pulled over the top. Then when my hands have achieved full finger circulation I whip them off and stuff them in the side pockets of my bag (it’s a Ground Effect one, shock horror).

As you can now plainly see AA Milne was obviously an onto it cyclist and with the except of the slight faux pas regarding the mittens, knew how to dress appropriately for winter conditions. Of course on the weekends, when I don’t have to ride in the icy weather, I take his best bit of advice and stay in bed under layers of warm blankets (one of which is even furry).